Golden Globes 2019: live updates
The 76th Golden Globes are underway. Follow along here for live updates from myself and friend of the site Zoë Ryan (@z_m_ryan).
Jake: The big loser of the night turns out to be A Star Is Born, which gets snubbed for everything aside from “Shallow.” Important to remember that the Globes don’t actually mean anything. It’s been fun!
Highlights of the night:
-"Oh God, the winner is Green Book."
-Sandra Oh's win
-Olivia Colman's acceptance speech
-Steve Carell is hot now
Lowlights of the night:
-Green Book winning anything
-Samberg and Oh's hosting abilities
Jake: Guess I have to see The Wife now.
Jake: Much like the movie itself, the acceptance speech for Green Book features a white man explaining racism while a black man waits patiently in the background.
Jake: “Oh God, the winner is Green Book.” Bill Murray speaks for all of us right now.
Jake: JANELLE MONAE FOREVER
Jake: Shaping up to be a Colman vs. Gaga Oscars race. Colman is incredibly charming and her performance was amazing.
Jake: How does Halle Berry still look like that
Jake: What if awards shows got rid of acceptance speeches? Something like a rapid-fire interview on stage?
Jake: LORD BEZOS
Zoë: The excitement for A Star Is Born is palpable.
Jake: It’s Cuaron vs. Cooper for the Oscar.
Jake: “It may seem like we’re not up to the task, but we are, man, we’re alive!” Jeff Bridges IS The Dude.
Zoë: That was bizarrely similar to listen to my father’s Sunday morning ramblings, which are seemingly a stream of consciousness until someone turns on music and cuts him off.
Jake: Chris Pine secures his spot at the top of the Chris Wars with a charming Jeff Bridges introduction.
Jake: What the fuck is Ellen’s Game of Games
Zoë: Tyler Perry asking the question we’re all asking, “are the celebrities as drunk as they seem?” He says yes.
Zoë: Does he??
Jake: He seems…ok. Are we already forgetting about that audio where he screamed at everyone on the set of Terminator:Salvation???
Jake: Christian Bale’s performance in Vice is high-class mimicry, and it’s just yearning to do a fraction of what Joaquin Phoenix could have done with something like this. Also, I forget every time that Bale is British.
Jake: Patricia Clarkson is a national treasure.
Zoë: Patricia Clarkson may have won for Sharp Objects, but she’ll always be Tammy I to me.
Jake: The factually challenged screenplay for Green Book beats out Roma, Beale Street, and The Favourite. This is a travesty.
Zoë: Alternatively, I’d take Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler as the hosts of this year’s Oscars.
Jake: Mahershala Ali delivers a touching speech for a good performance, but I wish it didn’t propel the awful Green Book further into awards season contention.
Jake: This ceremony is picking up.
Jake: How many times has a host won at their own awards show? This is a great moment.
Zoë: YASS SANDRA MY QUEEN AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Jake: A surprising, but deserved, win for Regina King! One of the standouts of Beale Street, and all the other nominees seem genuinely happy for her.
Jake: Lady Gaga’s Oscars stock goes up anytime she’s on stage.
Zoë: WHO IS MARK RONSON????
Jake: Idris Elba and Taylor Swift take home the prize for hottest presenters of the night.
Jake: One hour in, and these Globes aren’t fun enough. The audience needs to get a lot drunker!
Jake: This Carol Burnett presentation is really nice. Also, is Steve Carell hot now?
Zoë: Steve Carell is officially hot now.
Jake: A joke where the punchline is that I don’t get to see Jack Nicholson present? Cool.
Zoë: Is there anything more uncomfortable than watching celebrities be shamed into getting flu shots on live television? I want to love Samberg and Oh, but they sure are making it hard for themselves.
Jake: The real English scandal is that Ben Whishaw won’t win anything for voicing Paddington.
Zoë: Three for four for television shows I haven’t heard of.
Jake: Evergreen greatness from The Onion.
Zoë: I know The Americans is well-deserving off the award, but a part of me is still disappointed that it didn’t go to Killing Eve or Pose, both of which heavily feature POC.
Jake: Two-for-two on TV shows I’ve barely even heard of.
Zoë: Is The Big Bang Theory still relevant? Like really, who watches it? Please let me know.
Jake: Someone let The Favourite stars host an awards show, quick!
Jake: Black Panther was released 11 months ago. This movie has incredible staying power.
Zoë: Taking this commercial break to go back and reflect on Oh and Samberg’s hosting this year. While only slightly less awkward than the Hathaway/Franco hosting disaster of 2011, at least Oh and Samberg chose to focus on the positive things going on in the world (re: greater representation in mainstream movies). As NPR pop culture critic Linda Holmes tweeted, "I'd rather awkward and nice than awkward and mean.”
Jake: A much-deserved win for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. Not just the best animated movie of the year, but one of the best, period.
Zoë: Douglas wins for The Kominsky Method, kicking off a night of me not knowing what any of these shows are.
Jake: A touching moment from Oh about why she chose to host, praising the diversity of the crowd: “This moment is real…all of these faces of change.”
Jake: Lmao at Samberg line about Ms. Maisel: “Is this anti-semitic?”
Zoë: Emma Stone saying “I’m sorry” as Oh says there hasn’t been a film nominated with an Asian since Aloha is perfection. As is Oh explaining to Samberg why a joke about Asian flush isn’t for him.
Zoë: Don’t mind me. Just sitting in my living room crying that I’m finally getting to see an Asian woman host an awards show.
Jake: Welcome to the live feed! The Golden Globes will be kicking off in just a few minutes. For now, a very uncomfortable exchange between Yvette Nicole Brown and a tall white man. Brown says she will be pulling for movies starring black folks; white man awkwardly chuckles and chides her for limiting her options.