Heist Movie Bracket: Round One Voting
By Jake Skubish
Welcome to the Break-In Bracket, where we are voting for the best heist movie since 1975 in honor of the 45th anniversary of Dog Day Afternoon. Voting buttons for each matchup are below. You can follow along with the progress of the bracket here.
The Clay Region
(1) Reservoir Dogs vs. (8) Ocean’s 8
The Matchup: The bro-iest heist movie of them all vs. an all-female takeover of an all-male franchise. I really wanted to love Ocean’s 8, but it ignores a fundamental rule of heist movies, which is that the heist has to be challenging. That one went off without a hitch. Reservoir Dogs is a mess, and everything goes wrong for these so-called professionals. It’s better for it, and it has my vote.
Streaming: Reservoir Dogs is available to stream through Starz. Ocean’s 8 is available to stream through Cinemax.
(4) Now You See Me vs. (5) Ant-Man
The Matchup: Two movies about thieves that can make themselves disappear. Ant-Man tries so hard to be a fun time, but can’t escape the stale sameness that every Marvel movie has. Now You See Me is dumb as hell, and I love every minute of it.
Streaming: Ant-Man is available to stream through Disney+.
(2) Ocean’s Eleven vs. (7) Three Kings
The Matchup: Clooney vs. Clooney. He’s the king of heist movies, which I’ll be writing about in more detail soon. His performances in these two movies are so distinct, and equally great. But Ocean’s Eleven is quintessential heist movie stuff, and Clooney has never been more slick. The dinner scene between him and Julia Roberts alone puts it over the top.
Streaming: Three Kings is available to stream through Cinemax.
(3) Baby Driver vs. (6) The Italian Job
The Matchup: Two heist movies that really love cars. The Italian Job is a paint-by-numbers heist, but from the riveting opening scene of Baby Driver it was clear that director Edgar Wright was bringing something new to the genre.
The Gondorff Region
(1) Heat vs. (8) Den of Thieves
The Matchup: Heat vs. the movie that so unapologetically rips off Heat. Gerard Butler is, um, really going for it in Den of Thieves, and it’s so much that you just can’t look away. That doesn’t mean it’s a good movie, though. The Pacino-De Niro diner scene is iconic, and it deserves to move on.
Streaming: Den of Thieves is available to stream through Showtime.
(4) Good Time vs. (5) Hell or High Water
The Matchup: Two heist movies about pairs of brothers that can’t stop making the wrong decisions. In Hell or High Water, this march toward doom is a slow burn. In Good Time it’s insanity from the first minute to the last, a preview to what the Safdies would do with their next film, Uncut Gems. Good Time rules, and Pattinson is incredible.
Streaming: Good Time and Hell or High Water are both available to stream through Netflix.
(2) Inside man vs. (7) The Thomas Crown Affair
The Matchup: A heist movie where we are inside the bank almost the entire time vs. one where the thief hardly spends any time at the scene of the crime. The Thomas Crown Affair is pretty fun, but it’s more notable for the obscenely steamy sex scenes between Rene Russo and Pierce Brosnan than anything going on in the plot. Inside Man is layers deep and gets better on every rewatch.
Streaming: The Thomas Crown Affair is available to stream through HBO.
(3) Snatch vs. (6) Logan Lucky
The Matchup: The white trash showdown. Snatch is filled to the brim with batshit Brits and a bananas Brad Pitt performance, while Logan Lucky features a pair of down-on-their luck brothers from the American South. I’m rooting for this upset with this one; Logan Lucky is on par with Soderbergh’s Ocean’s series in its best moments, and one musical number in the middle gets me every time.
Streaming: Snatch is available to stream through IMDb TV (with ads). Logan Lucky is available to stream through Amazon Prime.
The Bonnet Region
(1) The Usual Suspects vs. (8) Sexy Beast
The Matchup: A heist movie that takes place entirely after the job vs. one that mostly takes place with one character trying to convince the others to take on the job at all. Sexy Beast features a great Ben Kingsley performance and not a whole lot else. Kevin Spacey aside, The Usual Suspects remains a feat of legendary storytelling.
Streaming: The Usual Suspects is available to stream through HBO. Sexy Beast is available to stream through Cinemax.
(4) Fast Five vs. (5) Point break
The Matchup: Cars vs. surfboards. The Fast and Furious owes its very existence to Point Break; the first movie in the franchise is a direct ripoff. Both of these movies are dumb fun, and the friendship that forms between Keanu and Swayze in Point Break is genuinely touching. But as Dom Toretto would say, I don’t got friends. I got family.
Streaming: Fast Five is available to stream through HBO. Point Break is available to stream for free through Vudu.
(2) The Town vs. (7) Set It Off
The Matchup: Two heist movies deeply tied to the locations in which they take place. The Town is a Boston movie to its core, often annoyingly so. Jeremy Renner is incredible and I’ll defend this Blake Lively performance to the ends of this Earth, but I don’t really like the film itself. Set It Off is a quintessential L.A. heist movie and an underrated gem, and Queen Latifah and Jada Pinkett Smith are phenomenal.
Streaming: The Town is available to stream through HBO.
(3) Rogue One: A Star Wars Story vs. (6) National Treasure
The Matchup: An attempt to steal the most important documents in the galaxy vs. an attempt to steal the most important documents in America. National Treasure is a nostalgia trip, but it’s only an average film. After a slog of exposition, the last 45 minutes of Rogue One is one of the most riveting sequences in any heist movie I’ve ever seen.
Streaming: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is available to stream through Disney+. National Treasure is available to stream through Netflix.
The Sonny Region
(1) Die Hard vs. (8) The Bank Job
The Matchup: A deeply American heist movie vs. a deeply British heist movie. The Bank Job has some good Jason Statham moments, but it looks like it was shot for about $5. Yippee-ki-yay.
Streaming: Die Hard is available to stream through Cinemax. The Bank Job is available to stream through Showtime.
(4) Fantastic Mr. Fox vs. (5) Out of Sight
The Matchup: Clooney vs. Clooney, round 2. Yeah, that’s right, there are four Clooney movies in this bracket, and they all deserve to be here. In fact, both of these movies deserve to play on well past the first round. Why did I do this to myself?
Streaming: Out of Sight is available to stream through HBO.
(2) Jackie Brown vs. (7) A Fish Called Wanda
The Matchup: Two heists filled with enough double-crossing and betrayals to make your head spin. This might be the first round matchup that hurts me the most. I desperately love A Fish Called Wanda, and I am desperately in love with Jamie Lee Curtis in the film. But Jackie Brown is Quentin Tarantino at his most subdued, and Pam Grier delivers a knockout lead performance.
Streaming: Jackie Brown is available to stream through Starz. A Fish Called Wanda is available to stream through HBO.
(3) Thief vs. (6) Widows
The Matchup: One last job vs. a first-time heist. Thief is a classic Michael Mann caper with a classic James Caan performance. But I’m hoping for Widows to pull off the upset here. It got no love at the Oscars, and it continues to not get the love it deserves.
Streaming: Thief and Widows are both available to stream through Cinemax.